When I started running CEA, I didn’t know what I was doing. Many, many times I tried to do something that would have been a stupid mistake - giving feedback insensitively, pushing for random systems that I was personally excited about, etc. It was the people I managed (particularly Jenna and Caitlin) who pointed out these mistakes and helped me to improve. This feedback was about as important as downward feedback (from the board).

Your directs have important perspectives

They’re seeing important things about the organization and work that you don’t have access to. They know how they’re feeling, and what issues are distracting them from doing good work. They see how you are managing and leading - in fact, they probably see more of your leadership than your own manager does.

People will be hesitant to give you critical feedback

You probably underestimate how power dynamics affect others’ willingness to share. Even if you feel fairly equal with your directs, they might be very aware that you could fire them, and keen to keep you on side.

For this reason, they will probably start off somewhat scared to give you critical feedback, and you need to work hard to shift away from that default. Particularly early on, being defensive or dismissive of feedback could further entrench the default

Work hard to get your first piece of critical upward feedback

So when you start managing someone, one of your first priorities is to get good critical feedback from them.

So to get upward feedback:

1. Work really hard to get the first piece of critical feedback:
1. Emphasize how much you want this in every meeting.
2. Add it to your 1on1 template: ask them to give you critical feedback every week
2. When you hear the critical feedback, react well:
1. Thank them for sharing it with you
2. Tell them what specifically you’re going to do about it, and check that they think this is a reasonable plan for addressing the issue.
1. Note: ”try to do better in the future” is not a plan: what reminders, systems, training strategies can you implement?
3. Actually do that thing, and tell them that you’ve done it. Ask them to hold you accountable to continuing to do this (while also making clear that you’re ultimately responsible for addressing the feedback).

This is particularly important to do early on: that first piece of critical feedback is crucial for demonstrating to them that they can share more. If you handle the first piece well, they will feel more comfortable sharing a second piece of feedback.

Keep working hard to get upward feedback

But don’t stop there: repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum. Keep asking for critical feedback in 1on1s. If you think that they might be frustrated with something, or worried or critical, gently ask about that.

This will not only build trust with your reports and keep them happy, but also be one of your best feedback loops for becoming a better leader.

What if you disagree with their feedback?

From time to time this will happen.

• Thank them first: Make clear that you’re grateful for them sharing. If you don’t initially agree, it might just be best to say “I really appreciate you sharing this. I’m not sure yet what I think of it / what to do next, is it OK if I take a bit of time to reflect?”
• Check yourself: are you just being defensive? Maybe ask a peer or your manager for a sense-check, to see if you’re missing parts of their feedback.
• Look for nuggets: Maybe you disagree with most aspects of the feedback, but there’s aspects that are true. Are there small updates you should make, even if you don’t wholesale adopt their perspective?
• Be transparent: Discuss which bits of the feedback you agree and disagree with, explain your reasons, try to understand if there are bits that you haven’t understood yet.

In general, I think that this sort of approach will still lead to someone feeling heard and happy to give more feedback in the future. You don’t need to agree with and simply act on every bit of feedback you receive (in fact, doing so would be disastrous).

One exception: if this is one of the first ~5 pieces of feedback you’ve received from someone and you think it’s kinda-reasonable but wouldn’t normally be worth the time/energy to respond to, then it might be worth doing a full responsethis time around, in order to make clear that you’re receptive to feedback.